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Best 100+ Jokes For Kids
What kind of music do mummies listen to?
What do you get when you cross a sweet potato and a jazz musician?
A yam session.
What musical instrument is found in the bathroom?
A tube-a toothpaste.
Why did the pianist bang their head against the keys?
They were playing by ear.
What concert costs just 45 cents?
50 Cent with Nickelback.
What musical keys do cows sing in?
What is a skeleton’s favorite musical instrument?
What music frightens balloons?
What is the most musical part of your body?
Your nose — you can blow it like a trumpet and pick it like a guitar.
Why couldn’t the pianist start their car?
Because the keys were on their piano.
What did the guitar say to the guitar player?
Stop stringing me along.
Why is a piano so hard to open?
Because the keys are on the inside.
I kept thinking I could hear music coming from my printer.
Turns out it is was jamming.
What did Jay-Z call his wife before they were married?
Why do turkeys make the best drummers?
Because they have drumsticks.
Why are pirates great singers?
They hit the high C’s.
Why did the tortilla chip start dancing?
Because someone put on the salsa.
Why did the fish make such a good musician?
It was a natural with scales.
What kind of music do rabbits like best?
What do you call a musician with problems?
Why are ninja farts so dangerous?
They’re silent but deadly.
Why was the nose sad?
Because it didn’t get picked.
How do you tell one end of a worm from the other?
Put it in a bowl of flour and wait for it to fart.
What’s the difference between broccoli and boogers?
Kids don’t eat broccoli.
A dung beetle walks into a restaurant and says:
“Excuse me, is this stool taken?”
Why should you never fart on an elevator?
Because it’s wrong on so many levels.
How do you tell the difference between an oral thermometer and a rectal thermometer?
Why did Tigger go into the bathroom?
He was looking for Pooh.
What do you get if you eat beans with onions?
What did one booger say to the other?
You think you’re funny, but you’re snot.
Why did the detective look up the nose?
He was looking for fingerprints.
Have you seen the new movie, “Constipated?”
No? That’s because it hasn’t come out yet.
Why did the constipated accountant lose his job?
Because he couldn’t budge-it.
Why did the skeleton burp?
Because it didn’t have the guts to fart.
Poop jokes aren’t my favorite jokes.
But they’re a solid number two.
What’s invisible and smells like carrots?
An old married couple is in church one Sunday.
Suddenly, the old woman turns to her husband and says,
“I’ve just let out a really long, silent fart. What should I do?”
The husband turned to her and says:
“Replace the battery in your hearing aid.”
What drives out of your nose at 150 mph?
Why can’t you trust atoms?
Because they make up everything.
I was reading a book about helium yesterday.
I couldn’t put it down.
How do we know Saturn was married more than once?
Because it’s got so many rings.
How does NASA organize a party?
Why do people make bad chemistry jokes?
Because all the good ones Argon.
What is a robot’s favorite snack?
What did one DNA strand ask the other?
Do these genes look okay?
What did Benjamin Franklin say when he discovered electricity?
Gosh. That’s shocking.
Why do spiders make great web developers?
Because they’re always finding bugs.
Did you hear that oxygen went on a date with potassium?
It went OK.
Why couldn’t the computers fall asleep?
Because it was always too wired.
What types of songs do planets sing?
I heard that Oxygen and Magnesium were going out together.
I was like O Mg.
What did the hipster ice cube say?
I was water before it was cool.
One tectonic plate bumped into the other.
Sorry, it said, my fault.
Why did the army use acid?
To neutralize the enemy’s base.
Why don’t scientists have doorbells?
Because they want to win no-bell prizes.
Why are computers so smart?
They listen to their motherboard.
What do you do when no one laughs at your science jokes?
Keep trying until you get a reaction.
There are 10 kinds of people.
Those who understand binary and those who don’t.
How does a physicist exercise?
By pumping ions.
Why is the ocean always grumpy?
Because it has crabs on its bottom.
What did the big flower say to the little flower?
Hi there, bud!
What sits at the bottom of the sea and twitches?
A nervous wreck.
What kind of tree fits in your hand?
A palm tree.
What washes up on really small beaches?
Why was the sand wet?
Because the sea weed.
What does a cloud wear under its clothes?
How do trees get on the internet?
They log in.
Why do bees have sticky hair?
Because they use honey combs.
What do you call a flower that runs on electricity?
A power plant.
What does the wind play on family game night?
Why did the cell stay in prison?
Because it was held in by walls.
Why are biology teachers like philosophers?
They both give life lessons.
What do plants do when someone’s unhappy?
What’s a math teacher’s favorite kind of tree?
Why do teenagers only sit in groups of three, five, or seven?
Because they can’t even.
I had an argument with a 90-degree angle.
It turns out it was right
How do you do math in your head?
Just use imaginary numbers.
What tool is best suited for math?
Why didn’t the Romans find algebra very challenging?
Because they always knew X was 10.
Why did the student wear glasses during math?
It improved di-vision.
Do you know what seems odd to me?
Numbers that aren’t divisible by two.
Why does algebra make you a better dancer?
Because of the algo-rhythm.
Why did the obtuse angle go to the beach?
Because it was over 90 degrees.
Why can’t a nose be 12 inches long?
Because then it would be a foot.
What do you call an angle that’s adorable?
Why is the obtuse triangle always frustrated?
Because it’s never right.
A talking sheepdog who loves math rounds up all of the sheep into a pen.
The dog comes back and says, “Okay, all 400 sheep are accounted for.”
“But,” says the farmer, “I’ve only got 360.”
The sheepdog replies, “I know, I rounded them up.”
Which snakes are good at math?
What’s a bird’s favorite type of math?
Why should you never argue with decimals?
Because they always have a point.
What did the math student say when the witch doctor removed their curse?
Why are pig farmers so good at trigonometry?
Because they know all about swine and coswine.
What do you get if you cross a math teacher and a clock?
Teacher: What is 2k + k?
Why couldn’t the polygon play in the big game?
Because he’d hurt his quadrilateral.
What number do you call for help with math problems?
Did you see the movie about the hot dog?
It was an Oscar wiener.
Why does yogurt love going to museums?
Because it’s cultured.
Every morning I plan to make pancakes, but I keep waffling.
Did you hear the rumor about peanut butter?
I’m not telling you. You might spread it.
How do you get a hipster to eat a hot dog?
Put it in a man bun.